


only what you wanted (for a little while)

by Toucanna



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Drunken Confessions, F/F, Pining, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-04 09:11:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toucanna/pseuds/Toucanna
Summary: Since getting her charges cleared, Petra and JR have been avoiding each other.OrIn which JR gets drunk and Petra takes care of her.





	1. part one

Crushes are not something Petra Solano has affiliated herself with.

She simply does not get them, and that is incontestable. In fact, she challenges anyone to contest it. If anyone can come up with exactly _one_ instance she’s had a crush she will give them all of her shares in the Marbella. Seriously, she will.

Because, listen, the whole JR debacle doesn’t count. Why? Well, it wasn’t a crush. It was just sex, and Petra Solano doesn’t get crushes on people, and she certainly does not catch even more feelings after sleeping with someone one time.

Even if that someone is beautiful, sexy, extremely intelligent, and has a stupid smirk on her dumb face every time Petra is around her.

Especially not then.

BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

And with that, she’s pulled out of her inner monologue. She stares at her office phone wondering what mess she’s going to have to clean up now before picking it up.

“ _What._ Because after that wedding party fiasco this morning, I am not in the mood to deal with any more crises, Marcus.”

She shakes her head because, even though Krishna was a criminal, she was a pretty good assistant. Now she’s stuck with Marcus, fresh out of college with a BFA degree and no foreseeable future.

Marcus stutters. “I-I’m sorry, Mrs. Solano. I-I-“ He pauses to take a deep breath. “Miss Villanueva is here for you ma’am.”

“Concerning?”

“Um, she-“

Jane’s voice cuts through, “Stop torturing him, Petra. I brought lunch.”

“Let her in.”

Her office door swings open, and a sheepish Marcus holds it for Jane who is carrying an absurd amount of food. Ever since Petra became the tooth fairy, Jane had been eating lunch with her a couple times a week. Petra would admit it was nice to have company.

“Care to give me a hand?” Jane pointedly looks at the bags she’s holding. Petra rushes from behind her desk to help her.

“You know, you should be nicer to him being that you were so mean to your last assistant she tried to frame you for murder,” Jane quips, handing her a bag.

Petra ignores her. “I could have just called something up,” She offers as she struggles with the food, placing it on her desk.

“I figured you could use something different than hotel food.”

Fair enough.

“What is it?” She asks, peering inside one of the bags.

“My favorite taco place in the city. Your mind is going to be blown.”

“Okay.” Petra takes a seat and starts unwrapping one of the tacos. She takes a bite. Jane does the same.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise. “Wow.”

“Told you.”

“How is your mother doing?” She asks after a bit of chewing.

Jane sighs. “She’s doing as well as anyone could be. She goes to her first oncologist appointment on Wednesday.”

Petra looks at her sympathetically. “And how are _you_ doing?” 

Jane laughs bitterly, her typically chipper demeanor faltering. “As well as anyone could be.”

Petra nods in understanding.

Jane shakes it off, returning to her sunny disposition. “But enough about me. You’re a free woman officially, right?”

“As of yesterday, yes. JR-“ Petra pauses as she remembers their conversation and how her heart briefly skipped when she read JR’s name on her cell phone. It wasn’t a crush just excitement one gets from hearing from a friend after a week. That’s _all._

“She called to tell me I’m off the hook, so to speak.” But of course, she falters when she mentions JR. Of course, Jane notices. And of course, Petra is going to have to deal with it.

“JR is your lawyer? Jane Ramos?” She eyes Petra over her taco.

“Yes.” Petra is tight-lipped. She fiddles with the tinfoil in front of her.

“Just your lawyer.”

“Just my lawyer.”

“You’re sure about that.”

“Of course, I’m sure. What are you implying?” Petra moves from fiddling with the tinfoil to her hands.

“Nothing.” Jane says, pretending to be innocent. She takes another bite.

“So, _anyway,_ I am no longer a suspect, and they are actively searching for Krishna. So far, they have no evidence of where she is. It’s like she disappeared.” Petra unwraps another taco.

“So you’re not talking to Jane Ramos anymore.”

Petra snaps this time. “Can you stop asking me about _her?_ Certainly, I’m not talking to her because she is my _lawyer_ , and I do not require her services because I am no longer under investigation by _the law_.”

Jane has a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Wow, did you get rejected at the prom or something?”  

“There was no _PROM._ ” Petra is fuming.

“Whatever you say.” Jane hides her grin in her taco.

“I resent the accusation that I had feelings for my lawyer. That would have been completely unprofessional. Completely.” Petra turns her gaze from Jane, trying to seem nonchalant and failing.

“Unprofessional, yeah. It would have been… Unprofessional in her office. Unprofessional in your office. Unprofessional in the-” Jane’s grin grows wider.

Petra cuts her off, “It was _ONE TIME,_ and it happened at my _PLACE_. I would never do-“

Uh oh.

Jane slams her taco down on the desk. “I knew it! I knew it ever since you giggled!”

“I do not _giggle._ ”

But she is on a roll already. “So you slept together? I only have eyes for Rafael, but she is a gorgeous woman. That jaw line? I would kill for that jaw line. Also, her hair is, like, perfect? How does she do that? Tell me everything. Don’t spare any details.”

Petra tries to maintain her innocence. “There are no details to spare. We were both drinking wine and talking, and it just happened. And it meant nothing. Purely physical. That’s all.”

“Mhm.”

“Mhm, what do you mean mhm?”

“Nothing. I believe you.” Jane shrugs.

“Good,” she says, resuming her lunch.

A moment of silence passes before: “… So you could say, she really _got you off_.”

Petra does not appreciate that one.

 

\---

 

Following lunch, her day is pretty routine. She breathes down people’s necks, picks the girls up from the nanny, breathes down more people’s necks, and puts the girls to bed.

She stares at herself in the mirror, brushing out her hair with her fingers. Her mind briefly flashes to when JR had pushed her onto the counter and-

She’s getting too ahead of herself. Her and JR are over. They are not an epic romance. They weren’t even a romance to begin with. They were barely a relationship.

Petra finishes removing her make up before going to settle in bed. Unfortunately, she misses having someone sleeping next to her, feeling wanted. It isn’t specifically about JR. She’s just lonely, okay?

She drifts off to sleep with the feeling of JR’s hands still lingering on her hips.

BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Petra shoots up. Another phone call? On her cell this time? She checks her clock. 3:00 am. On a Monday night. Tuesday morning? She groans thinking about the disaster she’s going to inevitably have to deal with when she answers.

She brings the phone to her ear. “…Hello?”

“Petra Solano?” It’s a gruff man’s voice. She doesn’t recognize it.

“This is she. Who is this?”

“The name’s Mike. I’m a bartender at Bar 70 downtown and I-“

“You had to call at 3 in the morning? We aren’t taking applications at the Marbella anymore. The position has been filled.” She goes to hang up the phone, annoyed.

“No! Lady, wait!”

She shoves the phone back up to her ear. “ _What_.”

“I’m here with your girlfriend, I guess. Her name is… Jane Ramos? Judging by her driver’s license. Look, lady, she’s really fucked up and not competent enough to get home on her own. I tried calling her a cab, but the driver wouldn’t even take her. You were the only number under her favorites on her phone besides a nursing home. Could you come and pick her up? She’s been making a mess here for the past hour, and I just want to go home,” he explains sounding so exhausted Petra can’t help but feel sorry for him. She also can’t help being flattered that she is JR’s only favorite besides her mother.

“ _Are you talking to Petra? Tell her-“_ slurs an intoxicated JR from the other side.

“Ma’am get off of me, please, I’m trying to get you home,” Mike says. Some struggle is heard before he gets back on the line. Petra is so shocked she doesn’t comment on the girlfriend part.

“Please come get her. I’m begging you.”

“What’s the address?” She takes out a post-it and pen from her drawer. He tells her, and she writes it down quickly.

“Hurry. If she vomits again, you’re cleaning it up.” The phone clicks.

Petra puts it onto her bed, the reality of the situation dawning on her.

“Fuck.”

\---

 

Petra called one of the staff to keep an eye on the girls while she’s gone. She is now driving across town to pick up her almost-something at 3 o’clock in the morning.

She is so gone.

 _No._ No she’s not. She’s doing what any great friend would do. Any great friend who would do anything to feel the other friend’s lips on hers one more time.

They’re friends.

She pulls into the parking lot of the bar and examines her outfit. She left the hotel in such a hurry she’s still in her pajamas. She catches herself checking her hair in the mirror and mentally slaps herself. Petra does not owe JR anything, especially a drunk one.

She gets out of the car and shuffles, slippers and all, to the door. It’s a kind of dingy bar from the outside but seems like the kind of place mysterious and intense JR would frequent. The neon sign flickers as she pulls on the door handle. It’s locked. She knocks twice.

The door opens and a large, bearded, and exhausted man stands in front of her.

“Petra?”

“Yes.”

“Mike. She said you had hair the color of the sun and were ‘so pretty.’” He uses air quotes, obviously not amused.

Petra blushes. “Where is she?”

“Follow me.”

He ushers her into a bar that matches exactly how it looks on the outside. It has slightly sticky cement floors with an old wooden bar and signs that have phrases like “Real men drink beer” on them to match.

JR is slumped over on a bar stool in a loose t-shirt and jeans. Petra has never seen her dressed so casually but is kind of a fan.

Mike stops when they reach her. “Here she is. Please take her so I can close up.”

“I’m so sorry about this.” Petra looks at him sincerely.

“Not my first rodeo. Rise and shine, lady.” He nudges JR.

She blinks her beautiful brown eyes open, and Petra remembers when she woke up next to her only a couple weeks ago. JR’s usual sultry smirk is a drunk, lazy smile.

“Peter,” she breathes out and scans over Petra’s pajama clad body. She suddenly feels incredibly self-conscious. “I like your pajamas. You look _hot._ ” JR says in what is not a whisper under any circumstance.

Petra rolls her eyes in an attempt to cover up another blush. “Let’s go. I’m taking you home.”

“One more drink… Bartender!” JR calls out. She turns and sees Mike. “Oh, there you are. Two of your finest drinks, please. My treat.”

Mike has a deadpan expression.

“Come on, JR.” Petra tries to lift her up from the seat. JR leans into her, her breath hot on Petra’s neck. She smells like whiskey.

“Okay, okay, Pete. I’m getting up.” She leans even more into Petra as she struggles to get up. She stumbles a bit but gets her footing.

“Sorry, again.” She apologizes to Mike when they reach the door.

“It’s fine. Just tell your girlfriend she’s not allowed back for two weeks, okay?” He scratches the back of his head.

“She’s not my-“

JR snuggles into her. Petra sighs.

“I’ll tell her. Have a good night.”

Mike nods, closing the door behind them. Petra and JR make it to the car after some coordinating and Petra opens the door for her. JR practically falls into the seat.

She looks up at her. “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you home,” Petra answers.

JR frowns, and it looks so silly that Petra fights the urge to laugh. “I don’t want to go home,” she insists.

Petra closes the door on her and gets into the driver’s seat. “Well, you have to go home. Where else would you go?”

“Your place? Your bed is so comfy.”

Petra bites her lip. “JR…”

“Please, I don’t want to be alone.” JR’s eyes are so earnest that Petra caves almost immediately.

“Okay. Fine. But you have to be quiet. Anna and Ellie are sleeping.”

“I’ll be so quiet.” JR nods emphatically. Petra shakes her head, smiling. She starts the car.

\---

They finally make it to Petra’s door despite having to stop every couple seconds so that JR could catch her balance or try not to vomit.

Petra turns to JR. “Remember, shh.” She brings a finger to her mouth.

JR’s gaze goes straight to her lips. “You have nice lips.”

Petra turns a bright red. “I- just be quiet, okay?”

JR closes her eyes and nods slowly.

Petra unlocks the door, and they walk in together. Roberta, the impromptu nanny, sits on the couch. Her eyes narrow when she sees Petra with the other woman.

“The girls were asleep the whole time, Mrs. Solano,” she says curtly.

“Thank you, Roberta. You’re dismissed.” Petra hands her a wad of bills, standing as stiff as possible.

Roberta nods, and puts the cash into her pocket. She gives Petra and JR one last suspicious look before heading out.

“Are we going to sleep in your bed?” JR tries to whisper but fails. The door shuts loudly.

“You couldn’t have waited until the door closed to ask that?” She asks, rolling her eyes. “Now, the entire hotel is going to know that I brought home a drunk woman at four in the morning, and she will be sleeping in my bed..”

“So, we _are_ going to sleep in your bed,” JR muses drunkly.

“You are. I will be on the couch.”

“No.” JR tugs on Petra.

“What are you six years old? Yes.” Petra pulls away.

JR tugs again, “Please.” And there she is with those eyes again. She should really stop doing that because they are really hard to say no to, and it’s not fair. Not fair at all.

Petra sighs loudly. “… Okay.”

\---

It takes several tries to get JR to change into pajamas before Petra gives up. One almost had her completely naked, and JR’s “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, relax” was not helpful.

JR is now curled up in her sheets like a little ball and quietly snoring. Petra smiles at how cute she looks but stops herself. No smiling. Not allowed. Friends don’t smile at other friends sleeping.

After placing a garbage can next to JR, she removes her slippers and joins the other woman, staying as close to her side of the bed as possible. She is just about to drift off when she feels the ghost of someone’s fingers along her body. Surprised, she turns and comes face to face with a sleepy JR.

“What are you doing?” She asks, turning back around because their faces were way to close.

“Being close to you.” The way she says it is so soft, and Petra melts.

“JR…”

A beat of silence. Petra can feel JR’s breath on the back of her neck, and it is reminding her of things she does not want to be reminded of.

“Thank you,” she murmurs into Petra’s hair.

“For what?” Petra is stiff as a board.

“For not asking me why I’m like this. For getting me. For being so kind.” JR’s hands move to wrap around her torso. They are full on spooning now, and she can’t bring herself to stop it.

“Of course, I would get you. I would do anything-“ The ‘for you’ goes unspoken, but they both know what she means.

It is silent again. JR takes a deep breath, and Petra can feel it.

“My mother forgot who I was today.” There it is.

“It wasn’t for that long, but I was at the nursing home, and for the tiniest moment, she looked at me. And it was in her eyes. She just- she was looking at me, and it was blank. She was blank. And I didn’t know what to do, Petra. I didn’t know so I went to the bar like a fucking idiot and got shit-faced. And now you’re here, and I’m fucking this up, and  I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.“ JR starts crying, and she realizes that this is the most vulnerable she has ever seen her so… she turns over.

JR has tears spilling down her cheeks. Her face is blotchy. Her eyes are red and puffy. She is still the most beautiful person Petra has ever seen. She touches her cheek.

“Hey. It’s okay. I promise.”

JR’s gaze boars into her. She sniffles. “I’m a mess. I pretend not to be, but I am. A complete fucking mess. You don’t want this.”

Petra is silent because she does want this. She wants it so bad. More than JR could ever know. She just strokes her face.

“I’m sorry,” JR says again.

“Don’t be.”

“And I’m sorry about that night because I-“ JR pauses as if she knows that sober her will regret what she’s going to say next. “I _like you._ ” She whispers the last part.

Remember when Petra said that seeing JR’s name pop up on her phone made her heart skip a couple beats? Well, that line made it skip like 8,000, which is probably very unhealthy. She can’t help the smile that grows on her face.

JR smiles back. “You have such a pretty smile.”

“I think you’re going to regret this in the morning.”

She just shrugs. “Probably.”

Petra snorts. “Go to sleep.”

JR doesn’t need any more instruction than that. She closes her eyes and snuggles into Petra’s chest. Petra runs her fingers through her dark locks, completely content for the first time in a while. To the sound of JR’s breathing, she falls into a dreamless slumber.


	2. part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to "Motion Sickness" by Phoebe Bridgers on repeat while writing this chapter.

QUACK!

Petra shoots up from her bed to the sound of her alarm. Yes, it’s ducks, and that’s only because she let Anna and Ellie pick the alert.

She whips around and sees what she already had expected: an empty bed. She figured JR would leave before she woke up but had hoped it wouldn’t be true. She rapidly checks her phone to see if there is a message or _anything_. Her notifications are only filled with emails about the hotel. She checks her night stand for a note of some sort. Nada. She flips her covers around. Zip. She even goes to the bathroom to see if there is something on the counter. Zero.

It’s like JR wasn’t even there.

Petra falls back into her pillow, dramatically disappointed. She isn’t surprised, but she isn’t pleased either. She turns her head and sees the indent of where JR had been. At least that is some evidence that last night wasn’t a fever dream. She sighs before getting up and starting her day.

 

\---

 

Petra is exhausted.

She barely got any sleep because of the JR thing and is now struggling to stay awake at her desk. If anything catastrophic at the hotel happens, it’s JR’s fault. JR who has still not contacted her even though it has been a whopping five hours since Petra woke up. Maybe it’s naïve of Petra to think that JR would reach out after she drunkenly admitted her feelings to her. Maybe it’s Maybelline.

Who knows?

“Mrs. Solano?” Marcus’s small voice comes through the intercom.

“Yes, Marcus?”

“Ms. Villanueva is here again.”

“Tell her I already ate.” She can’t deal with Jane today. She knows that she’ll end up telling her about the JR thing because she’s so tired and then it will be a big deal, and she just doesn’t need it to be a big deal. She needs to forget. 

Petra hears Marcus explaining to Jane quietly. “Wait-no! No. _No.”_ Petra sits up straighter. Jane bursts through the door in typical Jane fashion.

“I know you didn’t eat already because Marcus told me no one has been in or out of your office all day so nice try,” Jane says, standing strong next to a meek Marcus. He looks terribly nervous. “I brought sandwiches from downstairs, and we will have a nice lunch together.” She moves to sit across from Petra.

Petra looks at Marcus sternly. “We will talk after this about being discretionary with visitors.”

Marcus gulps. “Yes, ma’am.” He scampers out of the room, closing the door shut behind him.

Petra looks at Jane. “So you’re avoiding me?” Jane asks, unwrapping her sandwich.

“No. I’m just exhausted. It was a long night.” Petra turns her head away.

Jane narrows her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Well, um, the girls both had nightmares, and I was up with them all night. It is hard being a mother and balancing all of this.” Petra shrugs innocently.

“Hm.” Jane bites into her sandwich.

“Hm.” Petra does the same.

They chew in silence.

“What time is your mother’s appointment?” Petra inquires.

“10 am. I can’t go with her because I picked up a shift last week. Rogelio is going.” Jane holds back a frown.

Petra furrows her eyebrows. “Jane, you know I can have them change your shift for you so you can make the appointment. It’s no problem.”

Jane raises her hand. “No, no. It’s fine. Thank you. She told me that if I make it into a big deal every time and not just a normal doctor’s appointment, it would stress everyone out. She wants us to stay normal, you know?”

Petra nods. She does know. She did the same with Rafael. “It’s hard to do that,” she says in a soft voice.

“Yeah. It is.” Jane is solemn.

Petra puts her hand on top of Jane’s. “You can talk to me anytime. If you need anything, I’m here.”

Jane’s eyes are wet. “Thank you.”

Petra smiles. “Of course.”

Their moment is interrupted by the buzzing of Petra’s cell.

“Sorry.” She goes to check it. Her heart jumps about five million feet out of her body. A message from JR. She unlocks her phone frantically to see what she could have possibly sent her.

_Can we talk? – JR_

Can they talk? Can they? Is JR kidding her? That’s all she has to say after last night. She can bet her ass they can talk. What the-

“Petra?”

Petra looks up from her phone, remembering that Jane is there.

“Who is that? You just went through like a whole face journey thing. It was weird to watch.”

“No one.” Petra puts her phone down and smooths her skirt.

“Didn’t seem like no one. Wait. Was that Other Jane? What did she say? Did something happen?” Jane jumps up and down in her chair excitedly.

Petra can tell when lying is futile. She sighs. “Something happened.”

Jane practically squeals, and Petra rolls her eyes.

“What? What happened?” Jane grins.

“Last night I got this call from a bartender and…” Petra goes on to explain the entire incident. Jane even sees right through her when she gets to the where they slept part. Writer’s intuition or something.

“Damn. I think I should write my next book about you guys because this is a mess,” Jane observes.

Petra glares at her. “Excuse me. Now, she’s asking if we can talk? What do I do?” She feels like she is reverting back to a lovesick teenager. She detests that JR brings out this side of her.

“I think you should talk. Clear the air. Figure out what’s going on. _Define the relationship._ ”

“But she already told me it was a one-time thing and-“ Petra slumps back in her chair and puts her head in her hands.

“Look. She told you she _liked you_. I don’t think you can get more clear than that.”

“She was drunk!”

Jane throws her arms up. “Exactly! Everybody’s more truthful when they’re drunk. You guys just need to talk it out, stop being subtle, and start being straightforward.”

“I just- I haven’t-“

“Felt like this before?”

Petra looks at Jane, at a loss for words.

 

“Just tell her you can talk and go get the girl.” Jane smiles.

She nods and starts typing.

 

\---

 

After some back and forth, JR and Petra agree to meet at JR’s place this time. Petra decides that she will not give JR the satisfaction of dressing up. In fact, she dresses down just to prove a point. She dons a nice button down with jeans combination, little to no makeup. She fixes her hair a bit before leaving but not enough to look like she is trying.

 _Perfect_.

She arrives at JR’s apartment complex. It’s very modern and Miami, all sharp edges and solid colors, right on the beach. She _is_ a very successful criminal defense lawyer, but Petra is still impressed. 

She walks through the sliding doors into a grand marble lobby. JR texted her to talk to the front desk, and they would allow her to go up to the 11th floor.

A small elderly woman in a nice uniform types on a computer from behind the desk. Petra approaches her.

“Hello, my name is Petra Solano. I’m here to see JR- Jane Ramos. She said you could allow me into the building.” She smiles sweetly.

The lady doesn’t even look up. “Go right ahead.”

Petra nods, firm, or trying to be in order to convince herself she’s not nervous. She walks past the desk to the elevators. 

She manages to squeeze into one, and her finger hovers above 11. She presses it and takes a deep breath.

 

\---

 

Petra probably takes an extra two minutes pacing outside JR’s door in an attempt to figure out how she should knock. After much debate, she goes with a simple yet stylish two hits against it.

Petra expects to wait a second for JR to reach the door. She was kind of counting on that preparation period, but the other woman opens it about .1 seconds after her initial knock. She looks gorgeous, as per usual, in business casual attire.

“Hey.” JR smiles, and Petra wonders how it’s possible for a smile to be so seductive.

“Hey.”

Petra bites her lip. Yep, it’s awkward.

JR clears her throat. “Uh, come on in.” She holds the door open, and Petra walks past her. They’re close for the briefest of seconds, and Petra catches a whiff of JR’s perfume. It’s intoxicating. Already she has lost her self-control. This is going well.

JR’s apartment is an open floor plan and as sleek and modern as her building but looks about half-lived in. Petra examines it.

“I don’t stay here much. My office couch is a pullout, and I spend a lot of time at my mom’s.” She sits on the black leather sofa.

“It’s a gorgeous building,” Petra comments, looking around once more. She walks over to the living area and sits in a stylish chair across from JR.

“ Yeah. It is nice.”

… And things are awkward again.

JR shuffles uncomfortably on the couch. “Hey. I, uh, I’m…” She sighs. “I’m sorry about last night. That was so, so, incredibly unprofessional and idiotic and-“

Petra cuts her off. “It’s totally fine. You had a rough day.”

“You just, you had to drive there at what? 3 in the morning? And take care of my drunk ass.”

“It’s a good drunk ass.” Petra shrugs. Damn, that was surprisingly smooth for her.

JR snorts and looks down. “And thank you for taking care of me.”

“What are friends for?” Petra says, slightly bitter, before she can stop it from flying out of her mouth.

“Yeah…” JR chuckles softly.

Petra smooths out her skirt, eager to cut this off before it dives into even more awkward territory. “Is that all? I have a meeting back at the Marbella soon.” She doesn’t. Jane said to be straightforward with each other but being straightforward is hard. Having feelings is annoying. Petra would rather just not do that.

JR appears surprised at Petra’s abruptness. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s it.”

“Okay. I’d better get going then.” She stands up and sticks her hand out. JR stares at it for a bit before standing up herself. She takes Petra’s hand, giving it a firm shake. Her fingers linger a little bit too long. Petra yanks her hand away, blushing.

Are she and JR standing closer than before?

JR bites her lip in that way she does, and Petra is mesmerized.

“I-“

JR’s voice is breathy, and Petra’s gaze shoots from her lips to her eyes. She feels herself leaning in and knows it’s a terrible idea, but her body can’t help itself. Their faces are so close that Petra can feel JR’s breath. It doesn’t smell like whiskey.

JR blinks slowly. “I want to kiss you.”

Petra inhales sharply.

“What’s stopping you?” she hears herself saying. Where this confidence is coming from, she doesn’t know.

JR doesn’t need to be asked twice. Petra doesn’t even have time to register what’s happening because suddenly they’re kissing, and it feels _so good._

She doesn’t think this is what Jane meant by being straightforward.

Well, it’s pretty straightforward when JR slips her tongue into her mouth. Petra moans and presses back into the other woman. JR starts placing kisses against the column of her neck, and _fuck_ she loves it when she does that. JR chuckles. .

“What are you laugh- _oh.”_ She stops when JR lightly nips her before returning to her mouth. Petra, deciding that she’s in too deep to quit now, starts frantically unbuttoning JR’s shirt.

“Bedroom?” JR husks against her lips.

“ _Please_.”

JR grabs Petra’s hand and practically drags her into a pristine and contemporary bedroom. The bed is made perfectly, and most surfaces are bare.

“How often do you even stay here?” Petra asks.

JR shrugs then runs her fingers down Petra’s sides. She leans in close to her, and Petra’s breath catches in her throat.

“I told you, I normally sleep in my office, or at the nursing home,” JR says in such a whisper that makes one of the most unsexy sentences the sexiest that Petra has ever heard. She can’t help but feel obligated to pull JR’s face toward her to connect their lips once more. Deepening the kiss, Petra pushes forward and finds herself falling very unattractively onto the bed with JR.

“Shit. I’m so sorr-“ JR cuts her off by rolling on top of her. She straddles Petra and finishes unbuttoning her shirt. Petra can’t take her eyes off of her.

“Yours too.”

Petra nearly tears her top off. JR grins at her.

“What?” She frowns.

“That’s a nice bra.” Petra looks at her chest. It’s her most expensive Victoria’s Secret one. She flushes a bright red.

“What? This? It’s not for you. I didn’t do laundry yet. It was the only one I had left,” she defends.

“Mhm…” JR smirks.

Now Petra feels obligated to wipe the smirk off her face. She pulls JR down, entangling her fingers in her hair, and brings their mouths together once more in a clash of heat and lust. JR unclips her fancy bra skillfully, and Petra is kind of impressed. Her hands her way to her chest, and Petra gasps as she feels JR’s lips against her skin. She’s been aching for this since that night between them, and she can tell JR is hungry too. If not by the way she drags her tongue along her breast, then by the way she tugs at Petra’s pants.

“Off,” she states gruffly. JR’s pupils are blown up and her breath is ragged. Petra doesn’t remember her looking this desperate a couple of weeks ago and suddenly realizes she has the upper hand.

“You first. The bra too.”  

JR raises her eyebrows at the obvious shift in the power dynamic but obeys. She stands up and unclips her bra then shimmies off her pants…. Then her underwear. Petra’s mouth drops open. Even though this is the second time she’s seen her like this, the woman is still the most captivating creature she has ever laid eyes on. She wants to touch every part of her.

JR gets back on top of her. “See something you like?”

“ _Everything,”_ Petra murmurs before capturing her lips in a fierce kiss. JR lets out a soft moan, and she takes it as permission to roll them over so she’s on top. She inches her hand down JR’s stomach. JR bucks her hips unwittingly.

“May I?” She whispers. JR nods, and Petra starts touching her and _god, she’s soaked._ Petra can’t help but hum in appreciation.

“What are you doing?” JR gasps impatiently.

“Taking my time,” Petra says as she slips her fingers inside her. She catches the “ _shit”_ JR lets out under her breath and is in awe. JR’s eyes are closed tightly and she bites her lip while Petra slowly pumps in and out.

Petra peppers kisses under her breast, swirling her tongue around JR’s nipple. She feels JR’s stomach clench when she does that and sucks a little bit, keeping a steady pace with her hand.

JR clutches the sheets. “ _Faster._ ”

Petra smiles. “I’m taking my time.”

“When did you- _oh._ ” She cuts herself off as Petra curls her fingers. “When did you become so…” JR trails off at the end.

Petra leans in really close to her ear. Her hair brushes against the side of JR’s face. “ _When I realized that you wanted me as much as I want you._ ” She presses her lips against JR’s neck and starts fucking her properly. JR wraps her arms around her and starts digging her nails into Petra’s back. She doesn’t really mind because the satisfaction of fucking JR outweighs a few claw marks on her back.

“I’m close,” she manages to squeak out, but Petra already knows. She can feel her body tightening around her fingers and, fuck, if Petra’s underwear weren’t ruined before, they certainly are now.

JR pulls her down and kisses her as she comes. Petra keeps fucking her while she rides out her orgasm. When she’s done, JR flops back onto the bed, eyes still closed. This is Petra’s favorite JR: hair splayed out behind her, blissful expression, and, well, naked.

JR slowly opens her eyes. “That was…” She sighs. Petra knows what she means. JR sits up on her elbows. “You’re sure you haven’t been with a woman before?”

Petra laughs. “I learn from the best.”

“Yeah, you do.” JR kisses her then stops ask, “Your pants now?”

Petra nods and rolls off of JR. She unbuttons her pants, yanks, and discards them next to the bed.

“Lie down,” JR instructs. Petra watches her curiously but obeys anyway. The other woman then situates herself in between her legs. And there’s that hungry look in her eye. “I have been waiting to taste you again.” That sentence alone makes Petra quiver.

JR kisses the inside of Petra’s thighs, and she is so turned on she can barely think. Images of JR orgasming just a few seconds ago flash before her eyes. She squeezes the sheets. JR smirks into her leg then puts her mouth on her. And honestly, she said Rafael knew how to please a woman, but, compared to JR, he doesn’t know shit. In fact, none of the men she has ever been with have known shit. This woman has an innate sense on how to eat someone out.

“ _Shit.”_ Petra gasps as JR sucks on her clit. Any more of that, and she’s going to come embarrassingly fast if she keeps doing that. But JR doesn’t stop. She grabs Petra’s legs and pushes further into her with her tongue.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” she murmurs. JR keeps going, licking her faster. Suddenly, it all becomes too much for her, and she sees stars. Her orgasm hits her like a fucking tsunami.

Right as she finishes, she feels like she’s going to sink into the mattress. JR smirks obnoxiously from in between her legs. “That was fast.”

“Shut up.” Petra growls into the sheets. She can feel JR watching her, and she likes it. Then she hears the familiar duck sounds of her cell phone. Fuck.

She groans. “I’m sorry. Let me get that.” Standing up, she picks up her phone from her jeans. It’s the Marbella. She hits the answer button while looking at JR apologetically. JR shrugs, unbothered.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. Solano?” comes Marcus’s nervous voice.

“What is it Marcus? I’m in the middle of something.” She jumps when she feels fingers on her waist. JR is standing in back of her, touching her. It’s very distracting, and she doesn’t hear what Marcus says next.

“Sorry what?” She gives JR a sharp look.

“I said, there’s been an issue. Somebody mixed up a wedding party with a couple celebrating their anniversary, and now there are 20 people here demanding a room.” She can practically hear him flinching in his desk chair.

“I’ll be right there.” She hangs up, frustrated.

“What’s going on?” JR asks.

“Marbella crisis. What else is new?” Petra starts throwing on her pants. She picks up her shirt and buttons it a little more than halfway. JR just watches her get dressed, back on the bed and silent.

“I need to go,” she states and smooths her jeans out.

“I know.” JR responds. Her expression is unreadable.

“I’ll, uh-“

“We’ll talk soon.”

“Yes,” Petra says, although she doesn’t know if she believes her. She looks at JR sadly and the other woman gives her a bittersweet smile.

“Bye,” she says before heading out the door.

“ _Bye,_ ” JR whispers to the now empty room.

 

\---

 

“I’m sorry, _YOU WHAT?_ ” Jane basically screams over the phone.

Crisis averted after about two hours of working around rooms and angry people, Petra sits in her bedroom ready to turn in after a long day.

“What part of having sex and not talking is straightforward? What part of that is taking my advice?” Jane rants.

Petra sighs. “I know, but she’s so…” She can’t even finish the sentence because there are so many adjectives that suit how JR makes her feel that she cannot pick just one.

“You are so gone for her.”

“I am _not._ ” Even Petra doesn’t think she sounds convincing when she says that.

Jane snorts. “When are you guys going to actually-“ Petra hears some fumbling. “ _No_ , _no_ , Mateo go to bed. I’m talking to Aunty Petra and will come read a story in a second, I promise.” She listens as Jane ushers Mateo in the direction of his bedroom.

“Sorry about that. And yes you are. You’re in love with her, dummy,” Jane says matter-of-factly.

 _In love with her._ Petra is taken aback because, honestly, she’s avoided that phrase up until this point. Does she have a crush on JR? Yes. Is she in love with her…?

Probably.

“I’m-“ She stops talking.

She can hear Jane’s knowing grin over the phone. “I’ll wait for you to realize that one on your own. I have to go. If anything else happens, let me know immediately.”

“Okay.”

The phone clicks, and Petra slumps back into the couch. The girls are dropped off at Rafael’s, and now it is time to relax. Maybe a bath?

BEEP! BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Of course, the landline rings. She feels like that’s been a motif for the past couple days. The phone rings when she is in the middle of something. It’s really fucking annoying.

She leans across the couch and picks it up. “This better be good.”

“Good evening, Mrs. Solano. You have a guest down here by the name of Jane Ramos asking to be sent up,” answers one of her front desk people.

Oh, shit.

“Um. Send her up.” Saying she’s shocked would be an understatement.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Petra realizes she has about 3 minutes before JR arrives and has a mini freak out. She starts reorganizing the pillows and fixing her shirt while keeping an eye on the door. She fluffs her hair a little bit and is considering throwing some lipstick on when she hears the knock on the door.

Clearing her throat,  she goes and opens the door. JR is leaning against the wall, looking slightly disheveled but devastatingly sexy.

“Hey,” Petra breathes.

“Hey,” JR murmurs back.

“What are you doing here?”

“I think we need to talk.” JR stands straight now.

“Oh?” Petra folds her arms.

“Can I come in?”

She turns so JR can enter. JR moves past her into the living room as Petra closes the door.

“Is something wrong?” Petra inquires, knowing that JR is about five seconds away from rejecting her _again_.

But before she has time to process it, JR’s lips are on hers. Petra is lost in the feelings. JR starts going for Petra’s shirt when she comes to her senses.

“JR-“ Petra manages to get out. “ _JR,”_ she says more firm. JR stops with her buttons.

Petra takes a deep breath. “I can’t do this as a one- two- _three_ time thing. I can’t.” How’s that for straightforward, Jane?

JR steps back from her, lips swollen. She doesn’t say anything.

“I-I… I have feelings for you,” Petra admits, looking down. “I can’t just sleep with you. It will always be more than that to me. And I can’t deal with that pain.”

JR blinks, and Petra doesn’t know how she is going to react. She braces herself for impact.

“Petra.” She loves how her name sounds when JR says it in that low voice. “I-“ JR pauses, trying to articulate herself. She chuckles. “I’m so bad at this. I’m so bad at _talking_ to you. And I’m a lawyer, my job is to talk, but I can’t… I can’t find the right words when I’m with you. I never know what to say so obviously I use my mouth in other ways.”

Petra just watches her.

JR runs a hand through her hair, preparing herself for the big thing she’s about to say. “I think about you all the time. When you were my client, I thought it was because I was so focused on the case, and then we finished, and I still couldn’t get you off my mind. Everything reminded me of you: music, sounds, smells… And I’ve never felt this way about anybody before. I’m such a mess and went and got plastered, and there you were again. So fucking beautiful. And I just-“ She sighs. “Will you go out with me? Like to a dinner or something?”

Well to say the least, Petra wasn’t expecting that.

She smiles so widely she feels as if her face might break. “Yes. I’ll go out to dinner with you… _Jane._ ”

And as they are standing there, in Petra’s living room, smiling and looking at each other like two teenagers, Petra thinks she can see their hearts glowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Coming at you right before the next episode so that my fic isn't AU. 
> 
> My beta, who is my girlfriend, was busy today so if this is chock full of errors I'm so sorry. 
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if the smut sucks. It's my first time writing it so I hope it's good. 
> 
> Thanks for being so supportive in the comments! I'm super excited for tonight. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @ toucanna

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom has a severe lack of fanfics so I thought I'd throw mine in the pot. I wrote this on the plane home from spring break yesterday so feel free to comment and kudos and stuff. I want to know if I got the character's voices right because I'm a screenwriting major and need to write specs so criticism is encouraged too (just don't be super brutal). 
> 
> This ship is my friend and I's latest obsession, and we actually watch all the scenes of them like once an hour. Also, I have part 2 all planned out. I just need to write it. Look for it sometime this week! 
> 
> The title is based off of a fantastic song by Soccer Mommy called "Still Clean."
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @ toucanna


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